Helping couples serve joyfully

ELIJAHS HELP equips ministry couples to grow and sustain intimate and thriving marriages. 

In practice, we train core groups of  Christian ministry/lay couples in  a variety of churches  across denominations how to grow and sustain intimacy and vitality in their marriages in such a way as to be available and able to minister to couples who are hurting. 

We do this by providing confidential, no cost, independent, bible-based coaching. We help those who serve our Lord in full-time, part-time or on volunteer basis, restore and/or establish healthy relationships in their marriages, families and as members of church leadership groups.  

Elijahs Help’s programs are all delivered virtually via one to one videoconferencing, chat rooms and online group forums. This provides 24/7/365 access to those seeking help and comfort. It also allows us to serve more couples at the same time. 

Most importantly, Elijahs Help allows for a degree of anonymity and confidentiality that most people in ministry worry about. People in chat rooms and group forums may choose to reveal their full identity or not. People using the one-to-one sessions find comfort in knowing that we are not affiliated with any one church, thus, eliminating the concern that knowledge of them seeking help may somehow get back to their church and impact their jobs. 

We are a 501(c) (3) non-profit and our funding comes mostly from donations and the sale of books and other materials. This allows us to offer our services free of charge. 

In a culture bent on easy in, easy out marriage and divorce, we are divorce-survivors. 

We were separated for one and a half years. I wanted the divorce and had served separation papers. My wife refused to accept or sign them. 

In the meantime, God got a-hold of both our hearts. He changed our focus from looking only at the other person’s faults to seeing our nominal relationship with Him. Through this heart-rending experience, God gave us a fervor and vitality for Him and our marriage.  For us it is really as the Scripture says, ‘His power is made strong in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). That is our testimony, and the message we bring to couples.

Our philosophy,  “A healthy marriage is a healthy ministry” differentiates Elijahs Help from other similar ministries. The maturing obedient servant serves well at home first, and from that daily discipline serves the body of Christ best. 

Marriage 4 Ministry (M4M): Our Why

The passage in Ephesians 5:31–33 reveals a deep and inseparable connection between marriage and ministry, not in the vocational sense of pastoring or mission work, but as a living witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 to frame his teaching:

“Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

He then makes a stunning theological claim:

“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Let’s break this down to explore how marriage is a ministry and why ministry is embedded within marriage.

1. Marriage Is a Living Picture of the Gospel

Paul describes the union of husband and wife as a “mystery” a term used in Scripture to describe a divine truth once hidden but now revealed. That mystery, he says, points to Christ and the church. This means marriage isn’t just a private or social arrangement, it’s a sacred symbol.

• Just as Christ      left His Father to pursue His bride (the church), so too a man leaves his      family to become united with his wife.
• Just as Christ      gave Himself sacrificially to redeem the church, husbands are called to      love their wives self-sacrificially.
• And just as the      church responds with love and reverence, wives are called to respect and      follow their husbands.

In this sense, marriage is ministry: it preaches a sermon every day about the character of God, the nature of salvation, and the covenantal love of Christ.

2. Ministry Begins in Marriage

Before one minister to the world, the first call is to minister to one’s spouse. In Ephesians 5:33, Paul gives a practical expression of this sacred metaphor:

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

These commands reflect mutual selflessness and the heart of discipleship. They are not simply relational advice but discipleship imperatives. Just as Christ laid down His life for His people, husbands are called to lead in love. And just as the church joyfully submits to Christ, wives are called to respond in reverence.

This kind of relationship is not passive; it is a daily act of spiritual formation. In other words, marriage shapes you, sanctifies you, and trains you to serve another in the way Christ serves us. That is ministry.

3. Marriage as Missional Ministry

When Paul says, “I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church,” he implies that marriage has a missional purpose. Marriage:

• Displays the gospel to the      watching world.
• Draws others to ask questions      about God’s love.
• Demonstrates grace, forgiveness,      and covenantal faithfulness.

In a culture of relational breakdown, a godly marriage becomes a testimony, a compelling witness to the power of redemption. Your marriage is not merely personal; it’s public theology.

4. Marriage Trains You for All Other Ministries

The character formed in the crucible of marriage, patience, forgiveness, humility, faithfulness, is exactly what is required in any ministry calling. If a person cannot practice servant leadership, peacemaking, and sacrificial love at home, they will struggle to do so anywhere else.

Paul’s framing shows us that marriage is the testing ground of ministry. The home is the first mission field, the first congregation, the first small group.

Ephesians 5:31–33 teaches that:

• Marriage is a      covenantal ministry that reflects the covenant between Christ and the      church.
• Marriage is a      sanctifying ministry that forms Christlike character in both husband and      wife.
• Marriage is a      missional ministry that puts the gospel on display to a broken world.
• Marriage is a      foundational ministry that trains and qualifies us to serve others with      the heart of Christ.

So, when we ask how marriage and ministry are related, Paul’s answer is clear: they are profoundly intertwined. To be married in Christ is to be called to ministry, because every marriage is meant to echo the eternal love story between Jesus and His bride.